Wednesday, 5 November 2008
Monday, 15 September 2008
Saturday, 2 August 2008
A Long Time Coming.
Today I met again with my children, the first time since March 2007. (Hurray!) This was despite set backs over the usual holidays and other commitments that I have become used to hearing. The venue was a room in an anonymous looking room in the centre of Wakefield, west Yorkshire. The concept of ‘supervised contact’ is one which I have become cynical of since the last time in what can only be described as a shit hole in the centre of Hull. In this instance for supervised read looked on by a bunch of wannabe social worker types who’s only concern was that I didn’t take a photo of my children, while my sour faced ex wife looked on between her Seduce.
The room in Wakefield was subtly but significantly different. Now, ‘supervised’ was just what it said on the tin. My supervisor was a lady who, at least on first meeting, seemed to at last have the interests of the children at heart whilst all other peripheral matters take a back row seat. Refreshing. She wanted to see me for an hour prior to my meeting the children to discuss “terms and conditions”. To me this seemed overly long but at least it gave me the chance also to discuss with her my feelings on the issue and to put forward my reservations.
The hour soon passed and I was then taken into the room where I would be with my children and told to wait. Ruby & Mils burst into the room full of both excitement and obvious trepidation. I soon overcome that by outstretching my arms and welcoming them both in a big hug that lasted for what seemed like 10 minutes. Miles was his usual charming self and Ruby took the lead by telling me what they had done that day and that Miles had a new pair of sandals. Both of them, to me, looked awfully thin, Miles more so than Ruby. I thought to myself that it will no doubt be down to the fact that their mother is a vegetarian and that this may have rubbed off on them and so there would be less opportunity for them to gain weight by eating meat. I didn’t mention it to them though. It was a hot day today and Ruby’s summer dress was lovely and she had her hair down which I always liked best. Miles was wearing shorts and was tanned from the holiday they had just taken in Cornwall. We did some drawing on the whitewall and some colouring on the table then Ruby and I played twister for a short time.
All too soon the time was up and they had to leave me. I was called back into the 1st room and given what can only be described as a debrief. The lady seemed pleased that I had not turned out to be the latent axe murderer the paperwork had me down as. She told me that I asked too many questions which surprised me a little. She then confessed to me that prior to the children coming into the room she had devised with the children a special signal that they would show if they wanted to leave the room but that they had not felt the slightest inclination to use it. She then told me that she had asked the children if they wanted to come and seem me again in 2 weeks time and that they has said yes. She looked at me as though I should show delight and surprise at this news.
I am pleased with the way this 1st meet went and relish the prospect of a 2nd one even more.
Beverley Witham may win the occasional battle, but she can never win the war that she thinks she can.
The room in Wakefield was subtly but significantly different. Now, ‘supervised’ was just what it said on the tin. My supervisor was a lady who, at least on first meeting, seemed to at last have the interests of the children at heart whilst all other peripheral matters take a back row seat. Refreshing. She wanted to see me for an hour prior to my meeting the children to discuss “terms and conditions”. To me this seemed overly long but at least it gave me the chance also to discuss with her my feelings on the issue and to put forward my reservations.
The hour soon passed and I was then taken into the room where I would be with my children and told to wait. Ruby & Mils burst into the room full of both excitement and obvious trepidation. I soon overcome that by outstretching my arms and welcoming them both in a big hug that lasted for what seemed like 10 minutes. Miles was his usual charming self and Ruby took the lead by telling me what they had done that day and that Miles had a new pair of sandals. Both of them, to me, looked awfully thin, Miles more so than Ruby. I thought to myself that it will no doubt be down to the fact that their mother is a vegetarian and that this may have rubbed off on them and so there would be less opportunity for them to gain weight by eating meat. I didn’t mention it to them though. It was a hot day today and Ruby’s summer dress was lovely and she had her hair down which I always liked best. Miles was wearing shorts and was tanned from the holiday they had just taken in Cornwall. We did some drawing on the whitewall and some colouring on the table then Ruby and I played twister for a short time.
All too soon the time was up and they had to leave me. I was called back into the 1st room and given what can only be described as a debrief. The lady seemed pleased that I had not turned out to be the latent axe murderer the paperwork had me down as. She told me that I asked too many questions which surprised me a little. She then confessed to me that prior to the children coming into the room she had devised with the children a special signal that they would show if they wanted to leave the room but that they had not felt the slightest inclination to use it. She then told me that she had asked the children if they wanted to come and seem me again in 2 weeks time and that they has said yes. She looked at me as though I should show delight and surprise at this news.
I am pleased with the way this 1st meet went and relish the prospect of a 2nd one even more.
Beverley Witham may win the occasional battle, but she can never win the war that she thinks she can.
Sunday, 6 April 2008
And the Truth Shall Set You Free...
Friday, 4th April 2008
Today was the final hearing; except it was not. The judge was not the usual judge type, he actually wanted to get to the centre of all of this i.e. the Children. He was not interested in the peripherals of the last 3 years. He gave the choice; he hears the case in its entirety or we go away for half hour and just her and I talk. This we did and no hearing was heard. In its place it has been ruled that I shall see my children in less than one months time!!!!! supervised contact will soon result in unsupervised time with my children. Review to be set following 6 contact sessions giving plenty of time for me to weather plenty of storms...
Today was the final hearing; except it was not. The judge was not the usual judge type, he actually wanted to get to the centre of all of this i.e. the Children. He was not interested in the peripherals of the last 3 years. He gave the choice; he hears the case in its entirety or we go away for half hour and just her and I talk. This we did and no hearing was heard. In its place it has been ruled that I shall see my children in less than one months time!!!!! supervised contact will soon result in unsupervised time with my children. Review to be set following 6 contact sessions giving plenty of time for me to weather plenty of storms...
Tuesday, 12 February 2008
Letter to Judge
Dear Sir / Madam,
On the 4th Jan this year it was the date for the Final Hearing in the above case. As you can imagine this date was very important for me and I had arranged the necessary time off work to attend.
Late on the evening before (3rd Jan) I was unfortunate enough to have an accident which resulted in my breaking both my wrists. That evening and for much of the day of the 4th Jan I was in the hospital. I was unable to contact the court to advise of my condition and had my parents do this for me. I am advised by the court that this message did not get to the Judge. The consequence of my not being able to attend the court it seems is for the court to now further violate my parental rights.
I have been unable to see my children since March 2007 because of the unfounded allegations my ex partner has made about me in relation to my children. My children love me Miles tonight told me on the phone how he misses his dad. This made me cry; for this to me was clear evidence of the cruel ‘games’ that are being played out in the court room by my ex partner and too of the real victims of this game. This has raged on since May 2005 and it seems that any allegation made by my ex is taken to heart by the court and acted upon. I have had untold amounts of injunctions made against me I have had to jump through so many hoops that I’m starting to think I am a hamster! I just want to have a normal relationship with my kids but the court won’t let me, what’s more it makes its decisions based on nothing save the untested allegations of my ex wife.
Now to add even more injury and without , it seems any thought to the real victims in all of this – the children, the court has seen fit to prevent me from even communicating with my childrens school. This is I assume, based on the again untrue allegations made by my ex regarding the staff at his school complaining of he ‘harassing’ them or some such. You will not be surprised to read that this is not true. In fact quite the contrary is the case. I had begun to come to a good understanding with the head of the school. The head had taken the time to send me school reports and details of the school photographer following recent school picture so that I would be able to get copies myself. I enclose the email from the head which illustrates this.
Now that I have the plaster casts taken off my arms I am able to write you this letter asking that you dissolve / cancel / get rid of this latest order which bans me from getting even the most basic information relating to my childrens welfare at their school.
The order as it is now make provision for the hearing to be heard on the 4th April 2008, this would mean that I will not have seen my children for over 13 months. All of this without evidence to support any allegations. This is not fair.
Wishing for an expeditious response,
Mostyn Witham.
Wednesday, 06 February 2008
On the 4th Jan this year it was the date for the Final Hearing in the above case. As you can imagine this date was very important for me and I had arranged the necessary time off work to attend.
Late on the evening before (3rd Jan) I was unfortunate enough to have an accident which resulted in my breaking both my wrists. That evening and for much of the day of the 4th Jan I was in the hospital. I was unable to contact the court to advise of my condition and had my parents do this for me. I am advised by the court that this message did not get to the Judge. The consequence of my not being able to attend the court it seems is for the court to now further violate my parental rights.
I have been unable to see my children since March 2007 because of the unfounded allegations my ex partner has made about me in relation to my children. My children love me Miles tonight told me on the phone how he misses his dad. This made me cry; for this to me was clear evidence of the cruel ‘games’ that are being played out in the court room by my ex partner and too of the real victims of this game. This has raged on since May 2005 and it seems that any allegation made by my ex is taken to heart by the court and acted upon. I have had untold amounts of injunctions made against me I have had to jump through so many hoops that I’m starting to think I am a hamster! I just want to have a normal relationship with my kids but the court won’t let me, what’s more it makes its decisions based on nothing save the untested allegations of my ex wife.
Now to add even more injury and without , it seems any thought to the real victims in all of this – the children, the court has seen fit to prevent me from even communicating with my childrens school. This is I assume, based on the again untrue allegations made by my ex regarding the staff at his school complaining of he ‘harassing’ them or some such. You will not be surprised to read that this is not true. In fact quite the contrary is the case. I had begun to come to a good understanding with the head of the school. The head had taken the time to send me school reports and details of the school photographer following recent school picture so that I would be able to get copies myself. I enclose the email from the head which illustrates this.
Now that I have the plaster casts taken off my arms I am able to write you this letter asking that you dissolve / cancel / get rid of this latest order which bans me from getting even the most basic information relating to my childrens welfare at their school.
The order as it is now make provision for the hearing to be heard on the 4th April 2008, this would mean that I will not have seen my children for over 13 months. All of this without evidence to support any allegations. This is not fair.
Wishing for an expeditious response,
Mostyn Witham.
Wednesday, 06 February 2008
Wednesday, 26 December 2007
Christmas Day Surprise...
Yesterday my ex wife actually called me to let the children talk to me and thank me for the gifts which I had bought them. I was to say the least astounded by the call as this was the first such call in almost three years. I did start to hope that just maybe the lunatic who calls herself the mother of my children, had began to reconsider her attitude to me. But this thought was swiftly ushered from my mind as it dawned on me that this was impossible and that this was yet another example of her manipulative behaviour. After all, we are in court on 4th Jan 2008 for the final hearing and she may want to look good in front of the court.
Tuesday, 20 November 2007
A Very Sad Final Hearing Statement
Statement (Final Hearing)
Monday 19th November 2005
For almost the last three years I have had to fight to be a dad to my children. I am tired of this. It as so far cost me an implausible amount – economically and emotionally. All I ever wanted was to be participatory in my childrens development and lives post separation, but it seems that the law system will not allow this to happen. The law system is one which has done nothing over this time other than act pavlovian-like to every one of the many completely groundless allegations that my ex wife has made. It seems that there is no way out for me. Now, it seems she has delivered on her promise. I asked my solicitor once why she was doing this to me, the reply I got was that she was engaged in a process of throwing mud at the wall; throw enough mud and some will stick. But the real reason that my ex wife so vehemently wants me out of the childrens lives is a mystery to me now and, I suspect it will remain so.
Now I comfort myself with the thought that there is enough of me in my children to ensure that in the years to come they will seek out their father and will learn the truth about what is happening now and will then be more able to make up their own minds. I have come to accept that I will get no solace from the family law system, it has been so unfair up to now, why should it now try to examine all of the allegations at this point by way of a finding of fact hearing. I know it will not. The court has had ample opportunity to do so during the last two and three quarter years but has failed to do so. I argue that in so doing the family court has failed my children; and in fact it has acted in anything but the “interest of the children”.
Since the spring of 2005 I have been tested numerous times and all of these tests proved negative. I have been analysed by one of the country’s leading psychoanalysts and found to be nothing less than astoundingly normal. I have complied with all of the restrictions place before me by the family court and more. In short I have not broken the law, been declared completely sane and of sound mind and body. I am in short a good man and a fit and good dad. These are all FACTS and what is more they can be backed up and verified. Look back at all of the nasty allegations made by my ex wife and there will be found scant evidence to back up and substantiate any of them.
The court needs to know that I have initiated formal complaint proceedings against east riding of Yorkshire social services in regard to the manner in which they have compiled reports for CAFCASS. It is my intention to have at least this record put right in terms of its factuality.
Whichever judge is reading this (there have been so many I loose count) will be under no illusion that I am comprehensively worn down with this whole process (a fact no doubt my ex wife has been relying on these past years). I have only a few wishes which I would like the court to grant.
That my ex wife provide me with a land line number so that I have a more secure means of contact with my children.
That the judge gives a date for a finding of fact hearing.
That the court advises the school at which my children attend of my parental rights.
This statement is true and accurate to the best of my ability.
Signed this day Monday, 19th November 2007
Monday 19th November 2005
For almost the last three years I have had to fight to be a dad to my children. I am tired of this. It as so far cost me an implausible amount – economically and emotionally. All I ever wanted was to be participatory in my childrens development and lives post separation, but it seems that the law system will not allow this to happen. The law system is one which has done nothing over this time other than act pavlovian-like to every one of the many completely groundless allegations that my ex wife has made. It seems that there is no way out for me. Now, it seems she has delivered on her promise. I asked my solicitor once why she was doing this to me, the reply I got was that she was engaged in a process of throwing mud at the wall; throw enough mud and some will stick. But the real reason that my ex wife so vehemently wants me out of the childrens lives is a mystery to me now and, I suspect it will remain so.
Now I comfort myself with the thought that there is enough of me in my children to ensure that in the years to come they will seek out their father and will learn the truth about what is happening now and will then be more able to make up their own minds. I have come to accept that I will get no solace from the family law system, it has been so unfair up to now, why should it now try to examine all of the allegations at this point by way of a finding of fact hearing. I know it will not. The court has had ample opportunity to do so during the last two and three quarter years but has failed to do so. I argue that in so doing the family court has failed my children; and in fact it has acted in anything but the “interest of the children”.
Since the spring of 2005 I have been tested numerous times and all of these tests proved negative. I have been analysed by one of the country’s leading psychoanalysts and found to be nothing less than astoundingly normal. I have complied with all of the restrictions place before me by the family court and more. In short I have not broken the law, been declared completely sane and of sound mind and body. I am in short a good man and a fit and good dad. These are all FACTS and what is more they can be backed up and verified. Look back at all of the nasty allegations made by my ex wife and there will be found scant evidence to back up and substantiate any of them.
The court needs to know that I have initiated formal complaint proceedings against east riding of Yorkshire social services in regard to the manner in which they have compiled reports for CAFCASS. It is my intention to have at least this record put right in terms of its factuality.
Whichever judge is reading this (there have been so many I loose count) will be under no illusion that I am comprehensively worn down with this whole process (a fact no doubt my ex wife has been relying on these past years). I have only a few wishes which I would like the court to grant.
That my ex wife provide me with a land line number so that I have a more secure means of contact with my children.
That the judge gives a date for a finding of fact hearing.
That the court advises the school at which my children attend of my parental rights.
This statement is true and accurate to the best of my ability.
Signed this day Monday, 19th November 2007
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